Life coaching for men who want to change the world.

For dudes who refuse to live down to society’s expectations. You are not them. Let’s get clear on who you are and what you want. Confront toxic masculinity, shame, and indecision. Say hello to genuine connection, worthiness, and clarity of purpose. You’re safe here.

Technically I’m a pony. But that’s irrelevant, because this site isn’t actually about unicorns. Duh.
Start for Free

First chat casually for free. Then pay for coaching. Or don’t.

Let me Mansplain...

1

Reach out.

Contact me (Patrick Griffith) at +1-720-295-0233 via either WhatsApp (preferred) or phone. We’ll message back and forth a bit, and then schedule a free call if we click.

2

Pay some cash monies.

Pay $1,300 for 13 weeks of coaching. Only if we first fall in love with each other.

3

Do the work.

We’ll have one live 60 minute call each week, plus “unlimited” (I’m but a man, so it’s sort of limited) messaging between calls. Warning: I will give you permission to be authentic as fuck, and that may be scary.

The REDEFINING MANLINESS FREE Book Giveaway!

True manliness – in my not even remotely humble opinion – is the intersection of Fight Club and Daring Greatly (my two favorite books).

I need help spreading the word about this whacko idea of mine. I’m good at creating, but don’t know how to sell. So my mischievous plan is to get you to sell for me… by giving away these two life-changing books!

[EVIL LAUGH]

Here’s the deal: tell someone about this site and if that person gets as far as scheduling a free call then I’ll mail you these books (and a super cool highlighter). Fancy referral tracker? Nope. I’ll simply ask peeps how they heard about this. 

(Note that all new clients also get these books, plus a few other fun things, plus fun things every 6 weeks or so, cuz I like fun things, and saying fun things is also fun. things.)

Frankly, I need your help.(and I think you could use mine, too)

This is me showing up.

My dream is to destroy toxic masculinity. For this to be a nonprofit platform that connects thousands of coaches with millions of clients. To eventually overcharge those who can afford it in order to give it away for free to those who can’t while still paying coaches a fair rate.

My dream is to help create a world where men love their true selves in a healthy, non-narcissistic way so that we make decisions from a place of love instead of from shame, fear, and insecurity. So that we tickle our sense of purpose and belonging by uplifting others instead of by exerting our dominance over them.

My dream is for men (especially straight white men) to be able to talk about our problems despite our privilege. To acknowledge that we have REAL problems even if we don’t have “real” problems, and to not let the shame surrounding our privilege to prevent us from becoming better humans.

My dream is for men to embrace that we are not our results. That failing and then throwing ourselves back in the arena is manly as fuck. That an imperfect something is better than a perfect nothing. That iteration is a process that must be honored. That we must keep showing up, and that we must enlist the help of others to hold us accountable to keep showing up.

My dream is for men to give our authority to something worthwhile. To question how much we give to Bank of America and the NFL, and how little we give to ourselves, our family, and causes that we believe in.

My reality is that I’m brand new in the coaching world and need your help.

That’s not fun to admit.

It would have been emotionally easier to use “we” and “our” instead of “I” and “mine”, and to trick you into thinking that this site is already a mega success. But no thanks. That’s not the kind of person that the world needs.

I have a big-ass vision for this place. I truly think it has the potential to change how men interface with the world, and thus to change the world itself. And… begrudgingly… I understand that that has to start with me.

So yeah, I didn’t want to write this part. But I had to. Because this site is about owning it even when IT isn’t something that you’re stoked to own. About owning yourself even when you’re feeling a touch embarrassed about where that self is.

Questions that I’ll answer before they have a chance to be asked frequently.

How does this all work?

Interested in the finer details? Cool. We can get into that.

1. Reach Out

Reach out to me via WhatsApp. My name is Patrick Griffith and my WhatsApp number is +1-720-295-3197. You can also text me at this number if you'd prefer, but... WhatsApp is a far better tool for coaching.

Not sure what to say? Start with your name and your age, and then add whatever you want. Maybe why you're looking for a coach. Maybe something vulnerable. It doesn't have to be long, and it doesn't have to be overly serious. We're just getting our feet wet at this point. I promise that we'll uncover all the good stuff eventually... this is just a conversation starter.

e.g. "hey, my name is Patrick Griffith and I'm 31. I'm looking for coaching because I've had a real hard time with indecision and inaction over the past couple of years. I love the idea of having someone on my side who can help with the clarity piece and who also will hold me accountable when I get in my head and unnecessarily spin my wheels. Great to meet you and look forward to talking soon!"

2. Pay For 13 Weeks

Did we click? Sweet! Only after I feel like we're a good match (because compatibility matters from my end, too) will I send you an optional invoice link. Feel free to ignore it. I'm the least pressury salesperson in the world :)

If you decide to go ahead with the coaching, it costs $1,300 for 13 weeks. Your payment will be processed via Stripe (and I don't store your credit card number). Additionally, importantly, this is NOT a recurring membership. When your 13 weeks comes to an end I'll give you the option to renew if we BOTH think it's a good idea.

3. Do the Work

You and I will have one live 60 minute call per week. I prefer video, but we can do just audio if you have a strong preference.

In between calls I'll be checking in on you, and I'll also be encouraging you to message me (video/audio/text) WHENEVER you feel like it, 24/7. I'm your full-time professional listener that you can and SHOULD contact anytime you get the urge.

I know how to use Do Not Disturb, so... seriously, message me whenever.

Who are you?

Splendid question.

My name is Patrick Griffith (click here for pics and whatnot).

I’m a changed man. Corny as it sounds, I had a moment in April of 2015 where I first really felt the significance and finality of death. I mean, I knew this already, but it never landed until that moment. Since then I’ve made a lot of difficult decisions that most people would put off forever. Tough decisions that most of me hated, but that I knew my vulnerable self needed. I will live my best life, dammit.

Examples of tough decisions:

  1. I was making $140,000/yr in Delaware and "threw it all away" to move to Boulder, CO - not knowing anyone or having a job there - because I knew that’s what my vulnerable self wanted. Now I’m making $14,000/yr (yep, 90% less) doing something that helps people. I used to buy Arc'teryx gear left and right. Now I have a purpose. The former was definitely nice, but I’m okay with the tradeoff.
  2. I asked my wife for a divorce even though neither of us cheated, neither of us was abusive in any way, and we weren’t even unhappy. It wasn’t wrong... it just wasn’t right, either. This was easily the most difficult and most painful thing I’ve ever been through. Also easily the most beneficial decision I’ve ever made, even though I still cry about it sometimes.
  3. I sold a business with completely passive income for far less than it was worth because I didn’t align with its values.

The first 28 years of my life were a fast-paced rendition of a sterotypical American dream lived by a sterotypical American man. I (regularly) drunkenly vomitted alongside friends. I watched sports on Sundays instead of doing something impactful. I once went 7 years without crying. I avoided nice words to men for fear of being "gay" or a "pussy".

Undoing all of that wasn’t an overnight thing. In fact, it’s still ongoing work. And it’s meaningful work that I’m happy to do. When I (try not to) compare myself to others I still sometimes shrink, but when I compare myself to my former self? I stand tall.

Because now I live in Portland, OR. I have deep friendships for the first time in my life. I travel a lot. I ask women AND men for their numbers when I feel a connection. I open up to people. I’ve hiked thousands of miles since the last time I turned on a TV. I live my best life every day.

All because I’ve embraced the power of vulnerability. And now I want to help more men discover and embrace that power that already lies somewhere within.

Oh... and biased but true fact... I wouldn’t be where I am today without the help of coaches, specifically my first life coach, Heather. I paid her what seemed like WAY too much money at the time, but I pulled the trigger because I had a gut feeling that it was right, and I’m trying to get better about listening to my gut. It was worth tenfold every penny.

What’s your coaching experience?

None.

Seriously, none.

That should raise a red flag. Or at least a yellow flag. But it shouldn’t prevent you from starting a conversation with me for free and seeing what happens IMO, because:

  1. I live a life that would probably make you cum in your pants. I know how to love and be loved - not easy skills to acquire - and practice both daily. I travel to several different countries every year. I live my most best life as my most best self.
  2. Sticking with the crude imagery: I used to live a life that would make your penis shrivel up. Working a job I hated in a place I hated, married to someone I didn’t love, hanging out with friends that I couldn’t talk to, and turning toward all sorts of unhealthy outlets to either try and feel anything at all or to try and numb the pain altogether. So I know how to get from point A to point B, and I know how to navigate the seemingly impossible challenges that lie in the way.
  3. I’m a hyper curious and hyper self-aware person with nerdy undertones. Because of this my brain is bursting with self-helpy-type knowledge.
  4. I’ve done coaching and therapy. I know what works for me and what could be improved, and I’ve talked to bunches of others and have confirmed that what would work better for me would also work better for most.

Will this help me?

Hopefully you're already like “holy balls, I need this.” But if not… I understand. Need more reasons? If you join Unicorn Ears (even at the free level):

  1. You’ll make better, faster decisions.
  2. You’ll get clear on how to spend your days.
  3. You’ll get clear on how to spend your life.
  4. You’ll get clear on who to spend your time with.
  5. You’ll live a life that others WANT to be a part of.
  6. You’ll make the world a better, fairer, more loving place... even without explicitly trying (though explicitly trying would be great).
  7. You’ll become more comfortable being alone.
  8. You’ll become more comfortable being with others.
  9. You’ll become more comfortable being uncomfortable.
  10. You’ll learn to challenge conventional thought.
  11. You’ll learn to be more empathetic towards others.
  12. You’ll learn to love and respect yourself.
  13. You’ll start consuming less and producing more.
  14. You’ll start getting out of your own head.

Not specific enough? Here are a list of things that I’ve worked on and can help you work on, too.

  • Finding Your Purpose/Path
  • Starting/Abandoning/Selling a Business
  • Quitting/Finding/Applying/Interviewing for a Job
  • Deciding to Move Across the Country
  • Internet addiction
  • Gambling addiction
  • Identifying and Navigating Depression
  • Marital Struggles
  • Divorce
  • New Relationship Anxiety
  • Porn Addiction
  • Sexual Performance Anxiety
  • Sexual Communication
  • Loneliness
  • Making Friends
  • Family Disconnect
  • Body Positivity
  • Physical Fitness
  • Diet
  • Financial Strain
  • Decision Fatigue
  • Travel Decisions

Why is this only for men? Manly men?

Technically it’s not. Everyone who resonates with this page is free to join, and I’m equally have to have all of you! It’s specifically designed for men, though, because:

In many ways I (as a 31yo white male) am part of the most powerful, most privileged group of people in the world. And at the same time I’m part of the most disconnected, emotionally lost group of people in the world.

This is a real problem facing people without "real" problems, and I feel like - given my background and skillset - I’m in a remarkably unique place to help.

If we can all get in touch with our real selves then a) that makes our lives better, and also b) that has a trickle down effect on the entire world because it wakes us up to that privilege that we do have, to the point of using - and maybe even redistributing - that privilege for good, making the world a more equitable place (which benefits us all).

Note that I do NOT apologize for my privilege. I do not feel even a speck guilty for it. I simply think it’s my responsibility to use it in an intentional way.

Oh, and the "manly" man part?

Toxic masculinity sucks. Traditional masculinity does not. Being a dude is fucking awesome. Go ahead and embrace it. Throw some weights around and feel like a badass. Rough house. Get dirty. Laugh at inappropriate jokes. Make fart noises.

And also be able to play princess with your kids without feeling like less of a man. Be able to listen to a scared friend without calling him a pussy.

I am not against “manliness”. My only contention is that “manliness” can mean whatever you want it to mean.

If you’re a man then you’re manly. IMO.

Why WhatsApp?

All coaching is done through WhatsApp. For now at least. Yes, I'm a software developer who's capable of making a custom solution. But... just because you can doesn't mean you should (took me so fucking long to learn that lesson).

WhatsApp is the tits, because:

  1. It works on every device. Phone, computer, tablet, etc.
  2. I often prefer to send audio and video messages to clients instead of text messages, and WhatsApp makes this easy.
  3. Travel is cool. I travel a LOT, and imagine you might as well. WhatsApp lets us travel without worrying about whether or not we'll lose contact.